I Missed Writing So Much…

Two days before my birthday in October 2021, I made a promise to myself. It was to write two articles a week for 6 months.

I failed. As I do with most of the promises I make to myself.

This is not my confession or the list of excuses. I don’t even blame myself for not keeping up the promise.

I stopped with the blame game some time ago. I view life in cycles, do my best to reflect, and not judge nor force the issues.

Anyways, while I was writing consistently I grew and learned so much. How to spark my creative juices, engage with others, get things off my chest, get thoughts across, reflect…

However, I didn’t really notice this growth at the time. I knew it was supposed to happen because everyone claims it does.

But I didn’t really understand it.

Until I took some time off.

Now, after some time off, I realize I miss so much stuff that came with writing.

Maybe, this list can motivate you to reflect and come upon your own realizations.

#1 I miss the contemplation

I am a deep thinker..

If I don’t contemplate then I overthink or mindlessly mumble inside my head. It came with being me. There is nothing I could ever do about it…

So, if I don’t have time and space to think, I feel rotten.

I feel myself falling victim to mindless decisions and rat race. The colors turn pale. I slowly start to sense an inner disconnect and feel as though I am moving to an offbeat. Not in tune with my own playful rhythm.

Without these moments, I literally feel as though I am exhausted from the absence of contemplation.

It’s like I am looking at my authenticity through a closed car window and waving goodbye without knowing if I’ll ever see it again. I can’t explain it any better than that…

Writing for me became this deliberate practice of thinking.

It became a window in time when I allow to channel and accept all my thoughts. I then bend and stretch them and support them by producing the movement of my fingers on a keyboard.

Writing is my safe zone, where I feel alive and free to express myself.

#2 I miss the freedom

I also partially write for a living. I write the digital content and copy.

And let me tell you…It’s completely different from writing for your own pleasure.

There are rules, goals, audiences, call to action, funnels (not the kitchen funnels), brands, search engines, and much more.

Honestly, I love writing for the paycheck. It’s the most enjoyable work I’ve done my whole life. It carries many perks. I get to learn new things, explore other ways of thinking, structure my work, make the content readable. Heck, I get to earn.

However, it doesn’t allow me to break the rules too much.

Each article I write on Medium is free of restrictions.

I cuss, I draw, I ignore Grammarly suggestions, I listen to podcasts, get distracted, cuss at wars in the meantime, and write…

I write in a way I think is the best at the moment to an extent of risking coming off as ignorant. Simply because it’s joyful. And I am certain that anyone who writes knows they do it both for their own pleasure and to bring others that same pleasure or value.

And that my friends gives me the ultimate joy.

I LOVE IT!

#3 I miss the words

No, no, you don’t get it. I don’t mean I miss writing or reading words. I miss words while I write or speak.

My mind is constantly failing to recall the right word at the right moment.

During my consistent writing practice, my memory was sharper. I didn’t need to use the Thesaurus, books, or Ginko(joking) as much.

Now I feel like I am at 20% of my mental capacity. At the peak of my writing, I felt I was at 40%.

That is a big difference.

#4 I miss the community

I’ll say this without a second thought.

Medium is the social media platform where the most supportive people reside.

Go to YouTube, Twitter, or Reddit, and you’ll likely find a PTSD rather than an answer to your question.

On Medium, I found great writers, better articles, supportive people, and engaging comments. It took me by surprise because I found zero negativity, trolling, and judgment.

If the work by an author was criticized, it was usually well elaborated and in all cases written with good intentions.

I praise the fact that the algorithm supports the engagement because it pushes people to reciprocate and realize it’s not just about their work. The work of others is equally important and should be equally appreciated.

So, conclusively, I missed being a part of the naturally filtered social media community. Love you guys.

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