New Year’s Struggle Resolutions
Expect struggle. Not a single goal was achieved without it.
Failing to keep up with new year’s resolutions is a simple and repetitive process.
You start by reading about new years resolutions on Medium. You decide you want to have some for 2022 yourself.
New year knocks at the door.
You lose motivation by the end of January.
At that point the truth hits you. It‘s much harder than what you expected.
Writing down resolutions while sitting on the floor by the Christmas tree with Home Alone playing on TV, brought an extra level of delusional goal setting.
The positive thinker you were when you made resolutions got slapped in the face by the person who was supposed to meet the expectations.
Ultimately, you proceed with reality. A life filled with obligations, chores, and errands, fun nights, worse hangovers, kids, friends, disappointments, turbulence, porn, smoking, insecurities, fights, love, hugs, cold feet, and whatnot. Basically, the beautiful chaos of life.
Why New Year Resolutions Fail?
The answer is obvious.
You didn’t write down the expected hardships to reach your goals.
Let’s put it into a perspective.
- “Save more money” was an item on your list. However, you didn’t expect broken laptops, new car spare parts, inflation, sickness, and immediate gratification urges.
- You made a promise to yourself to pursue a new career, but you didn’t say your farewell to your comfort zone. Oh and the learning curve, family, sleepless nights…
Not expecting hardships frees up space for excuses.
The media is filled with articles that offer you ideas for new year’s resolutions. I think you already have enough of those.
What you’re missing is the important puzzle piece to any achieved goal.
Struggle.
Expect struggle
Writing down your resolutions and not being ready to struggle is called dreaming.
Dreaming feels nice and inspiring. Dreaming also causes a heavy amount of unnecessary suffering. Deep hurting because you are letting yourself down all the time.
Expecting struggle puts you in the right mindset to achieve goals. It also reinforces the resolution setting with the sense of reality.
The only certain thing about following up on your resolutions is the struggle. Yet we usually fail to remember this fact and focus on the end results again and again.
Expect failure
You will fail along the way.
The question is if you will be able to get back on track once you do fail.
Sticking up to your resolutions is not a perfect path. It’s a rough patch filled with bumps in the road.
If you fail in February, doesn’t mean you failed on your resolutions. It just means you should accept the failure, recalibrate, and move on.
Think about this when you’re setting your new year’s resolutions because it’s inevitable. It will help you to set the right intentions when those impediments occur.
Expect to struggle and fail
Failing without the struggle brings about regrets. Failing while suffering results in reality checks.
I beg you to choose reality checks. These are often hard to swallow, sons of b****** that can hurt like hell. But bear in mind that reality checks are necessary for growth to occur.
Regrets, on the other side, are the building blocks of misery.
Yes, regrets indeed can inspire you to eventually rise from the dead and change, but only because you tasted thar bitter flavor of misery.
Choose your struggles
By expecting struggles and writing them down you are embracing the full experience of keeping up promises you made to yourself.
More importantly, you will get a sense that you chose your struggle.
Knowing you chose your suffering is a liberating factor. This gives you a better sense of control over your life because there are fewer surprises.
So, write down your list of expected suffering. If you lack ideas, find inspiration in the events that are behind you. I’m sure you have plenty of resources.
Even if there happen to be any unexpected life events, leave the space for those as well. It will make things feel easier.
Judge yourself by struggles you endured
One should not be judged by goals he failed or managed to accomplish, but by struggle endured to reach those goals.
Feeling worthy of your struggles is a more sustainable feedback mechanism than your ability to reach goals.
Why?
Because you will fail to reach goals. The goals you underestimated perhaps or set when you were feeling high in life. If you don’t reach your goals, disappointment will take its place.
The struggles, however... The struggle bears witness you’re still here and still trying. It’s the proof of your character and resilience.
Struggle is like running, and 2022 is a marathon race. Your goal is to keep running, not to finish first. Because if you keep running you are getting closer to the finish line.
Wrap up!
Write down your resolutions and necessary struggles.
Meditate on the expected and unexpected struggles.
Evaluate yourself by the struggles you endured.
Enjoy the process.
Happy New Year!
